The Vanity Edit

This is the mask that turns clear overnight. It goes on white, you look like a ghost for 20 minutes, then you sleep in it, and by morning it has vanished into your pores. Does it work? Yes. Do you look like a serial killer while wearing it? Also yes.

Remember peeling glue off your hands in elementary school? This is that, but for adults with disposable income. You paint it on, sleep, and peel it off in one satisfying sheet. It allegedly seals in moisture. Mostly, it satisfies a primal urged to shed your skin like a lizard.

Pores are necessary functions of biology, but that doesn't mean we have to like them. These pads smell like lavender and aggressively evict dirt from your face. One side scrubs, the other side soothes. It's a toxic relationship that actually works out for you.

You are an adult. You shouldn't have pimples. But you do. This little sticker sucks the "gunk" (technical term) out of your face overnight. It stops you from picking, which is half the battle.

It costs less than a latte. It works better than the $40 tube you bought because an influencer told you to. It doesn't flake. It doesn't smudge. It just makes your lashes look like they actually exist.

It's pink. It wiggles. It looks like dessert. But you put it on your face. The "Glass Skin" trend basically demands you look like a glazed donut at all times. This gets you there.